about elle e., or the lotus-eater

The True History

(preface) How to write about one's self? Granted, we are opinionated and we have our idiosyncrasies to deal with as well. I have decided on a simple if irritating format; I'm sure that in the process, I'd omit the more pertinent facts, but it can't be helped. I do realize with increasing alarm that I habitually expect readers to read between the lines- as if they knew me intimately- in matters wherein I'd fare better if I didn't exercise this vagueness. But you can't go wrong with basic facts such as these;

Name: Elle E.
Residence: Singapore
Ethnicity: Indian
Religion: Hinduism
Zodiac: Capricorn
Hair Colour: Black
Eye Colour: Brown
Favourite Colour: Green
Language: English, Tamil
Personality Type: INFJ
Superhero: Wonder Woman, Batman
Eternal accessory: spectacles

(onwards, ho!) This is a cursory overview of very general characteristics about myself. I don't believe you'll learn more about me after reading it. However you can go back to the main journal and try to surmise bits of me in between the lines- that is, if I don't seem that reticent. I'm sorry. This is not a room splashed with my "personality's" entrails. All you are going to get is a little splattering at the north-eastern corner, behind the club chairs named part i, part ii and part iii.

(part i) I don't knit, bake or cook; I don't go running in the mornings; I ceased my bicycling days long ago. My mother worries that I don't get enough sunlight, that I don't sleep early enough, that I spoil my eyesight by reading, reading, reading... Ah, the joys of being unemployed in one's twenties.

I am a lemon tea guzzling, library lingering, tenuously scribbling, gaucherie-stricken, otiose spinster. And no, I am not at all bitter.

I think, stress and panic; I reminisce about Hamlet after that and feel insignificant. I work better in an ordered, beautiful and organized environment. I am usually meticulous. I constantly draw up 'to-do' lists.

I am a crepuscular creature.

I have a male alter ego. He was born in the darkest of winters in an obscure Eastern European nation; he has a shock of black hair and smoky green eyes; he recurrently appears in most of my fictional forays.

I am naturally inclined to philosophise, alliterate, obfuscate and in rarer modes, poeticise. I prefer pacifism and objective history but if all of us become diplomats, war wouldn't exist and then where would we be?

I believe in chivalry - I'll admit I like the excesses of courtly love. I keep a traditional longhand diary as well as a commonplace book. My favourite words are eschatology, aha! and phantasmagoria. I like spontaneity in creativity but it's hard to come by and harder to achieve.

I admire an open mind. I revel in the contradictions of humanity. I follow traditions dictated by the family. I can't tell if it suggests a weak character. Perhaps I am that, but I can't change this fundamental aspect.

(part iii) I am insecure about the way I sound on the phone. This is because I listened to my voice recordings and, oh god, I give the impression that I either drink like a fish and suffer from a perpetual hangover, or that I'm the manacled, wailing ghost from Pliny's age-old tale of sorry spirits and innocent young people.

I walk like a nun, with my face buried in a book. I can't read maps. I'm helpless with directions. I'm the sort who's perpetually lost. I daydream excessively. Control freak. I eat too much and exercise too little in a world overrun by evil waifs. I come off sounding too earnest occasionally. I have no sense of humour. I want to be an ultra-sophisticated, philosophising, bohemianesque 17th century man of letters.

(part iii) I like gargoyles and vampires, nonsense verse and courtesans with golden hearts. I like my shadow, the idea of magic and the possibility that Merlin exists. Yes, I like the whimsical and I am whimsical.

Besides the usual body of politically correct list of hate, I can do without the following quite brilliantly: roaches, dog day afternoons, repetitious TV programmes, the prurient nature of recent popular music, homophobes, essentialism, Harold Blooms, messy rooms, contretemps and overconfident adolescents.

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